time is slipping by

I just had a very depressing moment. It's silly really. I know that my babies are growing. I just wrote Eastin is 4 months and Kyna 3 months old in an e-mail to a friend. That makes me want to bawl. The worst part of everything is I'm not going to spend all their baby months with them. I knew this, so why is it still so hard to accept. If I could afford it, I'd move to Vietnam now and spend my days visiting their orphanages and holding them. In reality, we probably don't have long to wait. I think we have about 9 weeks. That's my guess anyway. I have a whole list of things to get done and have been so busy. I guess while I'd like the time to pass here, I want the time to stand still in Vietnam till I get there. Well, I'm off to tackle my list of stuff.